Your Attitude Is Everything

By William.P

I'm sure you've heard it a hundred times -attitude is everything. I know I've said it thousands of times, but what exactly does this mean or better still what are the factors that contribute to our attitudes? The list is really long and complex, but I will cut to the basics
hoping that if you feel you need an attitude adjustment or know someone that does, that this abbreviated version might be of some value. So what are the major contributors to attitudes? In
no order of importance I believe they are;

Experience - Experience can be a great teacher or it can cause our attitudes right or wrong, good or bad, to become further entrenched in our behaviour
causing us to just default to previous responses when dealing with totally new circumstances or people. If we don't learn from our experience we
can't use it as an effective tool to improve or change for the better. Negative experiences have a significant impact on our attitudes and until we
are willing and able to evaluate them maturely and accurately we are destined to continue to repeat
similar behaviours in completely new and different situations.

Mindsets - Think of a mindset as cruise control. Once you press the button everything happens automatically.
So, if over time you have become a negative or pessimistic person it is easier to think this way about everything than think otherwise. Attitudes are driven by mindsets. If you have any prejudices as a part of your attitude base you will tend to think and act this way regardless of current
circumstances. Mindsets are one of the major factors that contribute to our attitudes whether it is your attitude about time, weather or any other human factor or interaction. To change
attitudes requires that you change a mindset, but I'm sure you realize that because of an existing mindset this can be a very difficult if not impossible task. And why? Because most people would rather remain the same than do the work to change. The other reason is that when we have certain attitudes we will go to great lengths to defend them as right or appropriate.

Personal history - Your personal history; how you were raised, values you were given, beliefs you have developed over the years are a significant factor contributing to attitudes. If you have
consistently failed over the years regardless of the activity or endeavour, if you have not come to see these failures as a valuable learning tool but a reason to bring this philosophy to any new
action you will tend to continue to repeat these outcomes and justifying them as - that's life.

You can't change your history, but you can change how you choose to interpret it in your present moments in present circumstances. It's a choice, one that is vital if you want to change any attitude.

Expectations - The number one cause of
disappointment are unrealized expectations either of yourself or someone else or even a situation
that does not turn out the way you hoped or planned. Disappointment leads to frustration and stress and both of these can have a temporary or even permanent impact on your attitudes.

Expectations are simply what you want to happen or when or how you want someone to act or behave. These expectations are generally grounded in your personal attitudes like - people should be on time, the weather should cooperate, stupid drivers should stay off the road while you are travelling,
planes should be on time - got it? These are simply personal beliefs that you have that have developed over time that are then manifested through your expectations thus reinforcing your
attitudes in this area. So when someone is late you typically bring a certain set of behaviours or attitudes to this situation. If they are continually late this sets up other emotions such
as resentment and even anger. These then feed your sense of disappointment and therefore continually impact or reinforce these attitudes. This is true
of all of the expectations you have of life, others or yourself.

Conditioned environment - You were raised in an environment you couldn't control. All that your parents or caregivers could pass on to you were
their beliefs, values etc. Although these might have been appropriate for them given their circumstances it is unlikely that some of what they passed on to you is still relevant in today's complex world. What you learned from teachers,
church leaders, relatives or even neighbours was "where they were coming from in their life" but it
has no relevance whatsoever to the decisions you face and the choices you must make in your life. Yes, some of these lessons and information can
have an impact on how you feel, what you believe or how you act, but they must be filtered through your current situations and life in general.

Education - Education can be a significant factor when it comes to attitudes as what we learn, who we learn it from and how we are trained to apply our learning can impact views, opinions and beliefs and how we execute these.

Our education system can be perceived in many different ways depending on your political leaning. I don't want to dig into the weeds on this political influence as I am sure no matter
what I say on this topic you will either agree with or disagree with me. I have therefore with this last statement just proved my point. Your political influence is driving many of your views,
prejudices, opinions and values. I am not implying that any of these are wrong, right or neutral just that they are impacting your attitudes. Yes after
our early educational influences many people change their views, but this is usually due to continued neutral and impartial ongoing education.

Perceptual interpretations - Everyone filters what they hear, observe and experience through a very personal and unique mental emotional filter. If you have read any of my thousands of articles you are well aware of the importance and impact on life and our attitudes of our unique filtering process. Let me just conclude that the ingredients in your mental filter, things like; expectations,age, gender, race, religious beliefs, cultural background, education etc. all have contributed to
your opinions, interpretations, beliefs, values and yes prejudices. As long as you are unwilling to approach any new topic, situation, person etc. with a clean or empty filter you are doomed to
continue to default back to your previous beliefs or attitudes regardless of how accurate, appropriate or true they are.

Yes there are many more contributors to a person's attitudes, but I'll wager that most of your current attitudes can be measured using the above
topics as your template.

I'll leave you with a question - are any of your dominant or primary attitudes getting in some way sabotaging your success, happiness, inner peace,
relationships, career or any other life area?

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind." - William James

 
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